Mercy Me

So today is day 32 since we began trying to pursue adopting a certain little boy in China.  It almost makes you laugh at how ridiculous it all is.  It seems like it can't really be happening this way.  It seems that every day we find out about yet another delay, or another agency that is closing for a week.  Except for I am not laughing because there is a little boy in China, who could already know by now he has a family if it werent for red tape, administrative delays and mishaps.  My patience is being tested.  I can so easily see that the Lord is using this to refine me.  This has brought some ugly stuff out in me that I am not proud to see.  I guess when you stir up a mama bear by messing with her cubs, you get what you get, right?  Well, not if you follow Christ.  We are called to give mercy.

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy." Matthew 5:7

You see, I want mercy when I feel like I am doing my best.  I am sure they are doing their best, too.  I want mercy when I make a mistake.  I want mercy when I sin.  And Jesus says that if I want mercy, then I should give it.  So I have to give mercy and be patient and forgive.  Why is it so hard?  Today I am struggling with another day going by and not hearing anything new.  Maybe tomorrow, I think.  Right now in China, what are they doing?  Are they approving the file to come back to our agency so we can lock the file and put in our LOI?  Or are they struggling with a new database that isnt working again today.  We don't know.  I trust that the Lord is using all of this for our good.  We love Him, and have been called according to His purpose.  God doesn't waste anything.  So thankful for His righteous right hand which upholds me.

‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’  Isaiah 41:10