But it's been a couple of months now, and I still wonder, why? When we found out I was pregnant, it was a bit of a shock. I mean, at my age, I sort of thought I might be getting close to being done with babies physically. So when we found out I was expecting, we were shocked, surprised, but overjoyed! The miscarriage sent us into a state of questioning. Why would The Lord choose to surprise us in this way, only to take away the blessing? I began to wonder what He had planned. Now...I'm beginning to see.
The Lord was softening our hearts. Yes, we needed it...again. We need it over and over. We are stiff necked and hard hearted people. We had just gotten in a groove, so to speak, with our new little family of 6. 2 girls, 2 boys...just the perfect fit! But when we found out I was pregnant, and there would be 5 kids now, we didn't flinch. So maybe The Lord was trying to tell us something. There's room in your heart and in your home for more children...you just need to trust Me with how that comes about.
But, Lord, we might have the room for more children, but we can't afford more! We have lots of medical bills from Fishers heart cath and other cardio testing and now we are preparing for his open heart surgery! Now isn't the time to start an adoption.
"Trust Me".
But Lord, people already think we are crazy for having 4 kids. They say we can't afford any more and we won't be able to provide for them the way they think we should.
"Trust Me".
But Lord, we checked with the agency and we thought we could reuse some of our paperwork and it's been too long so we have to start over completely!
"Trust Me".
But Lord, the agency payments have gone up almost $1500!
"Trust me".
So we did. We put in our adoption application.
That was just a couple weeks ago, and last week we got our welcome call, letter and email to tell us that our first agency payment is due, $3300. Well, we only had $1800 saved. Before I even prayed or had a chance to think, I shot our social worker an email back asking if we could just pay half this time, so we could go ahead and start the home study. She hasn't answered me back, yet. But today, something amazing happened.
When we adopted Fisher, we applied for a grant with an organization called Lifesong for Orphans. They are a non-profit organization that supports orphans in lots of wonderful ways, and also families seeking to adopt. Although we were not awarded a grant, they did approve us to use them as a way for people to donate to our adoption and it be tax deductible. When we finished up our adoption with Fisher, we had $150 left in that account that was donated by people just like you. All of our agency fees and travel was paid, but we did have a few incidentals that were left to pay, so I requested that money from Lifesong. That was back in May. They don't usually cut a check for less than $500, but since our adoption was finished, and we were closing our account, they agreed.
Fast forward to yesterday. In preparation for "giving Tuesday" many organizations we support are sending emails asking for donations. Lifesong was one of them. It made me think to email them and ask if we could just re-open our account with them for tax deductible donations, or if we had to re-apply since this was a new adoption. This was her response:
..........
Hi Gia!
You still have $1500 in your account! Since you still have receipts on file (meaning we had receipts showing we paid our agency more than was donated to us) we will close your account and send you a check.
You need to submit a new application for a new account since this is a new adoption. If you have any questions, please let me know.
God Bless.
...........
WHAT!?!?!? That account was supposed to be closed back in May when we withdrew that remaining $150. How is this possible? They must have the account number wrong, it's a mistake. No. We have a God who is able to do immeasurably more than we can think or even ask! And in case you are not adding this up, I will add it for you. We had $1800 saved, plus $1500 equals $3300...exactly what we need for our first agency payment. We are dumbfounded...and so ashamed to have doubted for one second that The Lord would provide, if only we would "trust Him".
Psalm 118:23 "This is the Lord's doing; it is marvelous in our eyes."
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