Ups and downs

This week has been full of ups and downs for us.  As I wrote last week we had fallen in love with a little boy and had decided to pursue putting in our LOI, or Letter of Intent to Adopt.  All of this is so new to us, we are trying to learn the ins and outs of the way things are done.  So we did what we were told to do, we put him on hold,  filled out the paperwork, got the clearances, crossed our t's and dotted our i's...and he was GONE.  For those of you who have been through the adoption  process, you might understand.  There is red tape and agencies and lists and procedures...but there are also CHILDREN who need forever families.  Its frustrating.  We truly believe that this little boy is supposed to be ours.  I can't explain it, I really can't.  Even the kids feel the same, he is supposed to be their little brother.  But for now, we are not able to pursue him.  His file went to another agency while we had him on hold and supposedly there is another family pursuing him now.  We don't know how it happened, they can't tell us.  So for now, we must wait, and we may not be able to adopt him in the end.  But we are praying persistently and fervently for The Lord to intervene and grant us the honor of being parents to this little boy.  We truly felt like God was the one who had put Sammy in our hearts.  We are asking Him to step in and change the way this is going and allow us to adopt him.  But, we also want to submit to The Lord's will.  We know that He loves that little boy more than we do and wants what is best for him.  We want to say that we will be happy either way, but its hard.  Just being honest.  That is part of what this journey is about.  Its about learning to listen, learning to wait, learning to trust, learning to obey, learning to humbly accept help, learning to accept that things are beyond our control and experiencing love for a child that you did not give birth to...and none of it is possible without Jesus.  Pray for us as we walk through this.