Little by little

WARNING: This is going to be a loooooong post.  But it must be written down because the Lord is working in a mighty way! 

This adoption journey that The Lord has called us on has just begun, yet, we have already experienced such ups and downs.  A couple of years ago when I first started feeling drawn to adoption, I couldn't really understand a lot of the process and I really couldn't imagine feeling an emotional attachment to a child I did not give birth to.  Greg was not on board at all.  He knew that as Christians we were called to help "orphans and widows", but didn't feel that we were called to "actually adopt".  We could sponsor a child.  That would be good enough.

Almost a year ago, we were involved in a home-school co-op with some other families.  Actually we are still in that co-op.  Anyway, one of the other mothers had already adopted from China and was sponsoring a little boy in a foster home there.  She asked several of us to pray for this little boy named Samuel (not his real name), who had a heart defect and needed surgery.  I wrote down his name in my prayer journal and began to pray for him.  Then I was invited to her house sometime later, and I saw his picture on her frig. He was so sweet.  But at that time I knew we were not ready to move forward with adopting so I didn't take a second look at him, I just kept on praying.   But I must admit, sitting there that first day at my friends table, I wondered, could this be our little boy?  Is God already preparing us to adopt this child?  I pushed those thoughts out of my mind.  Greg was not ready to adopt, and so I would wait patiently.  You can read my other post about how we came to know for sure we wanted to adopt.

Fast forward to that time when we began the adoption process, many months later.  (I had meanwhile been praying for Samuel this whole time.)  We looked over and over at boys and girls on the waiting child list, and Samuel was always there.  But for some reason, when I finally decided to inquire about him,  he was on hold with another family.  Finally one day I asked to be put on the waiting list for him.  Weeks went by and I figured the family had committed to him.  We even looked closely at another little boys file who had epilepsy. Through an online group I was put in touch with a lady who had adopted children with epilepsy and began conversing with her asking her questions.  She recommended a doctor who would look at files for us and give medical recommendations.  We didn't pursue the little boy with epilepsy, but it is so obvious now that God was leading us, even then.

At the beginning of May we got a call and were told that the family did not pursue Samuel and we were next on the list to see his file.  I had to catch my breath.  Really?  Why?  What was it that these families were seeing in his file that caused him to be passed over time and again?  I was skeptical and scared.  But after all was said and done, we knew we wanted him.  His heart condition is serious.  His medical needs are considered severe.  But somehow, someway, we were not scared.  We had peace about it.  We knew it was God.  He was giving us peace about something we could never have had peace about on our own.  How could we? We know NOTHING about heart defects.  Why did it not scare us?  So, we looked at his file for only 48 hours and we called our agency to tell them we wanted to submit a Letter of Intent.

But if you read my other post you know that we received devastating news.  While we were considering him, and had him on hold, his file got transferred to another agency.  That agency would not release the file back to our agency.  Samuel was gone.  He had a new name.  They called him by another name on their website. They said they had a family interested and thought they could match him with that family so they didn't want to give the file back to our agency.  We. Were. Devastated.  That very same day that we found this out, I saw that friend of mine advocating for Samuel on her Facebook page under his new name!  I messaged her and told her what had happened.  She said she was so sorry, there wasn't much anyone could do.  That was just part of the adoption process.  Lots of ups and downs.  But she was able to tell me what agency had his file. (That information would help later).

Weeks have gone by and we have been praying fervently for Samuel and for God to reveal to us what He would have us do.  We didn't understand why He would give us such strong feelings for this little boy, only to have him go to another family.  We wanted so badly to be obedient and to accept whatever God had planned for us, and for Samuel.  We KNOW that God's plans are always best, and He has good planned for us.  So after all of this time we still hadnt heard much except that the agency still had the file, but the family had not committed to Samuel!  We couldnt believe it!  It was almost as if the Lord was holding these other families back to make a way for us! 

So after finding this out, we called the agency ourselves.  (Now remember, the only way I knew where he went was because of my online friend).  The agency is in California.  We explained the situation to the lady who answered the phone, Becca.  She was so sweet, kind and compassionate.  She said that they usually did not release files once they got them.  She said they usually kept them for 2 months and then let the file go back to the shared list, if they were not able to find a match.  I asked her to please see what she could do.  She said she would talk to her director, and see what she said, but for me not to expect anything.  We began to pray fervently for the director, Denise, to agree to release Samuel's file back to Lifeline so we could submit our Letter of Intent.  We asked our friends to pray, we fought for Samuel.

On Friday, I still hadnt heard anything, so I called our agency here in Alabama.  We knew that the 2 agencies had been talking back and forth, but didnt know what all was happening.  And then, our social worker told us the good news.  Heartsent (the other agency) had agreed to release the file back to Lifeline!  It was truly a miracle!  Praise the Lord!  We now have an opportunity to pursue our sweet boy. 

But we aren't out of the woods just yet.  The Children's Welfare agency in China is closed for a week so we will not be able to finalize anything until they open back up.  So we continue to pray and petition the Lord for our son.  Won't you join us in praying?  Thank you Lord, for your goodness and faithfulness.  We are humbled by your mercy and grace.  Please allow us to adopt this sweet boy.  In Jesus Precious Name, Amen.